Where is my sanity? I think I lost it
I’m still searching for it. If found please return, thank you.
There are a lot of things I’m still looking for, to be honest. Mental health has always been something I take seriously. I had issues with overthinking for awhile and books were able to pull me through. It served as a gateway for my mind to relax, I found really amazing articles, stories, and novels, etc that help calm my mind. This experience energized me to try and help others who are also going through something similar.
I had a chat with a friend who shared her story and is also a lover of books. We are twins at heart. Her name is Tee.
“For as long as I can remember, I struggled with overthinking. I struggled with it throughout my childhood and now in my adulthood, I’m still working on it. I’m not crazy don’t worry or maybe I am? Kidding, I’m not, I promise. I’m just a female that is an obsessive thinker and analyzer. I always want to know the meaning behind words and actions and when I don’t. I over-analyze and dissect until my head starts hurting and guess what? I continue again.
Surprisingly no one knew about this, I only started talking about this recently. I used to swallow everything and act as if nothing was wrong. My pillow absorbed my tears from when words hurt me and I swallowed my cries of pain. Abusive words would pierce me, I could laugh at you when it was said but getting to my bed. I would cry and ask why in my head, why you insulted me? was I not good enough? did I do something wrong to you? was I abnormal? and the questions would go on and on and I would cry. My pillow would absorb my tears and I, would swallow the sound and I would wake up the next day and continue. It was a bad cycle. The funny and sad thing was that small things could trigger my overthinking
I started getting grey hair in high school and I loved it. I was a prefect in school, the class captain, was in press club, was in the choir, I had friends, my classmates were awesome but it didn’t fill the void. It helped though but temporarily. University didn’t help at all but I was still doing well all around me except mentally. I was the president of my department, I used to tutor students, I had a boyfriend but it still didn’t help me in getting my brain to stop overthinking.
Her story has a good ending, not to fear. The turning point for her was books as it was with me also. For me, I started reading a lot and my overthinking was diverted. The books brought out my imagination, thinking about the scenery, colors, people, plot, theme, etc changed everything for me. Then I found Wattpad and I loved it. On my road to self-discovery and recovery, I discovered I enjoyed writing. I started a book on Wattpad if you’re interested. The title is I forgot to cry. Link here.
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The book that had the biggest impact on me was Dale Carnegie’s “how to stop worrying and start living”. It changed my life and I had a 180 degrees turn around but what I discovered is that the same way we eat daily to nourish our body is the same way we should also nourish our mental health. You have to consistently feed your mind. It’s not a one-time thing, the same way you eat, drink, sleep every day is the same way you should care for your mental health.
Here is a quote by Milton
“The mind is its own place and in itself
Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven”
Napoleon and Helen Keller are perfect examples of this. Napoleon said “I have never known six happy days in my life” while Helen Keller- blind, deaf, dumb declared “I have found life so beautiful”
Here are some steps I and Tee started following after reading ”How To Stop Worrying And Start Living”
Step 1: Write down precisely what you are worrying about.
Step 2: What is the cause of the problem.
Step 3: Write down what you can do about it.
Step 4: Decide what to do and start immediately to carry out the solution
Some other steps you can follow are
- Keep busy
- Don’t allow yourself to be upset by small things (life is short, too short.)
- Count your blessings not your troubles
- Read an interesting book
- Relax in odd moments (I love this)
- Embrace the worst-case scenario and strategize to offset it
- Live with enthusiasm
- Exercise/ play games
- Do something every day that makes you happy
- Most importantly PRAY
- Talk to someone: professional, a friend or family
Tee says, It takes a lot of strength to change a mind that has been positioned to overthink and worry but it’s not impossible. It is very possible. Every day is a new day to do new things. Live with gusto.
I started doing the steps I listed and there were positive changes in my life. There are moments though that negative thoughts and worry creep up on me and I know I have to move forward. It takes time and consistency but always keep doing things to improve your mental health and not just the physical.
I guess I found my sanity.
You can share your thoughts with me on how you were able to conquer overthinking.
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