Get over it! Life is unfair

I listened to an audio message some days before entering the new year (2021) and the speaker said something that stayed with me. The speaker talked about life and asked if anyone has ever read a book or gotten a message that said life is fair. What he said really got me thinking. Life is not meant to be fair. It never was, never is, and will never always be fair. Does anyone owe us anything? We can try and make exceptions maybe our parents, siblings, friends but do they really owe us?

At a point in my life, I expected a lot from life, friends, family, etc. I put in the work, I paid my dues and I expected the reward. I mean I did put in the work and it’s only fair that I get something back. And I’m sure a lot of people work through life with this mindset about life.

Well, we are born into this world without our consent, we don’t get to say when we fall sick, fall in love, or die. That alone shows that there are some things that are out of our control. There are so many instances of life’s unfairness. Reading more about life is making me rethink a lot and also making me even do more, try more, fight more (not physically though) for what I want.

I read something on Quora that said you cannot approach life as unfair and win. I remember one time that a car door was slammed on my fingers and the fuzz that people made around me was so funny thinking about it now. I was in pain but also good. I shook it off and continued as if nothing happened. I couldn’t even milk the situation as I started getting irritated with all the attention. I was around 10 then and I didn’t think much about it again. It was a normal day for me. Weirdly, some later, the same thing happened but to another person, a girl around my age also, and let me just say there was blood. The same thing happened to both of us but with different results, I was lucky if I might say.

Interestingly, things like this happen in different situations: relationships, work, marriage, etc where bad things seem to happen to only one person. A and B are best friends and are both looking for jobs. Both A and B are hardworking. They are both problem solvers and have good hearts but B finds a job before A, makes his first million, and gets married before A. A is trying his best. He is hardworking but just can’t meet up with B. A has crossed all his t’s and dotted his I’s. He’s a good guy but why is the universe treating him badly? Do you have an answer? Well, Nigerians will say A’s village people are behind it (Spiritual Attack).

The truth is that when you are winning life will not seem unfair to you then it’ll be life is great, life is good. Sometimes we get so hung up on how we think the world should work that we can’t see how it does.

Is fairness all in our heads? Personally, I would say no. Inequality exists amongst humans and even beyond. What we should do is to keep moving forward and not allow the hits and blows of life to stop us.

What’s the way forward?

• Accept that life isn’t fair
• Realize that while you cannot control the things that happen to you, you can control how you react to them.
• Sometimes you have to let go of what you want so you can focus on doing what’s needed — and so the pain can let go of you.
• Show gratitude. Be grateful for what you have. There are so many things in life you can be grateful for.
• Let others help. You can’t do everything alone.
• Just know that you might have to come up with another plan. Keep moving forward.
• Most importantly, I can’t emphasize this enough: PRAY. Don’t take for granted the importance of God in your life.
• Know that nobody owes you anything. Once you know this, things will fall into place for you.

Life is weird, unique, hard, unfair, etc but it is also beautiful, sweet, and amazing. You just need to know the side you are looking at it from.

Let me know your thoughts.